Kookie Cut-Outs by Rachel Britz

I recall my 15th birthday, a pivotal turning point in my life, with my dad knocking on my bedroom door. Standing there holding a tiny, wrapped gift in the palm of his hands. I let him in and as we both sat on the edge of my bed, I opened the present. It was a dainty necklace that held a solid, plump heart on its chain. The heart was small, like a pea, yet it was pure gold. My dad, using my captive heart as an opportunity to tell his only daughter how much he loved me. He explained that he hoped this necklace would help me to remember that he was the first man to ever love me.

In the book Captivating; Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul, Stasi and John Eldredge peel back the layers of those superficial ideals that seem to define woman today. Captivating is a book that tells the fairy tale from its original, God breathed perspective(aka: Adam and Eve). Then, reexamines a woman’s truest desires and intimate needs. Everything from our relationship with our own mother and father, our children, and our Creator God.

I found Captivating; Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul to shed light upon the truth. It helped to confirm my growing realization that becoming the Proverbs 31 woman is not a course I will master in my lifetime. Strive for, yes! Conquer, no! In the book, I appreciated the three characteristics that women tend to fall into; demanding, desolate, and alluring. I felt that these depictions really helped me to step back see times when I have been one or the other, then analyze what triggers contribute to myself being one over the other.

Shortly after my dad gave me that necklace pledging his love for me I gave my heart away to my first boyfriend. In the years that followed, I gave it away again and again. Broken and bruised with heartache, God has been faithful to lure me into an intimate relationship with Him. Never leaving me abandoned to my reckless ways. He has ferociously fought for my keeping and to this day is working at restoring His child into more of His likeness.

Captivating is a must read for any woman needing a fresh perspective. A new way of seeing yourself. One who longs to shed guilt and stomp out rules that bind us into a life of fear, ultimately keeping us from ever reaching our full potential. This book is a beacon of truth and light.

There are some things that get me every time. Like going to the theatre and watching the final curtain call. The audience on their feet clapping wildly, moved by the contagious thunderous applause. Honor tossed upon the performers like a wild thorn rose. My emotions always getting the best of me.

Then there are the proud parental moments. Milestones. My children riding their bike for the first time, or their first sleep over at a friends house, or graduating to new schools and new heights. Each time, as breathing stands still, I decide to swallow the swell that has once again risen in my throat.

Each Friday at my children’s school, 130 children make their way into the gymnasium for the all-school meeting. A time set aside each week to share new talents, solve school problems, and honor those who were spotted making a difference. Being “spotted” is a big deal. Being “spotted” means that someone in the school saw you doing something extraordinary and then recognizes and celebrates you. Each meeting begins first with The Pledge of Allegiance. This past week as I turned to face the American flag, hand over my heart, I began along with 130 small voices at my back, reciting the familiar words to this country’s mantra. It reminded me of my childhood. It reminded me of my brothers fighting overseas. It reminded me of all my greatest blessings and the privileges handed to my children. I was moved. At the time, wondering why I must always get so choked up about seemingly simple things. Later, it caused me to reflect on the value we place on honor.

Honor. A sticky subject on my heart. It’s often easy to honor people that have pleased us or make us proud. The truth, however is that not everyone is nice and sometimes people really annoy us. When we encounter people unlike ourselves or circumstances arise that require a “do the right thing” choice I think we tend to rationalize and honor somehow becomes irrelevant.

I remember once when I was 14 years old going to the ice arena to watch my fellow classmates play hockey. Before the game began the announcer asked that we turn our attention to the American Flag to sing the National Anthem. In my silliness, attempting to make my friends laugh, I mocked the song, butchered the lyrics, and carried on loudly acting like a fool. Afterwards, a grown woman came down from the bleachers, grabbed my arm and very sternly said to me “Do you have any idea who is sitting behind you?” I glanced over her shoulder and saw an elderly man sitting down with his head low. “That man fought for your freedom in WWII and the next time we stand to honor our Country I hope you think twice about the way you just disrespected him!” My mouth dropped and all I remember for the rest of that evening was sitting silently slumped in a heap. I felt horrible. I had no intentions of hurting anyone. I just wasn’t aware of the devastation disrespect can pour upon someone.

It takes due diligence to honor the tough stuff life doles out and honoring people in your life, people you care deeply about, often requires more of the same. I’ve found that the best place to foster this virtue is in the quiet places of your soul. Consideration before degradation edifies the Living God. Think about it…it’s true.

The change of seasons is a welcome sight for this Minnesota girls sore eyes. Spring has sailed in with flying colors and Spring has officially sprung. The implication is that Spring comes with a simple, graceful ease but the truth is that every year on the winds of change, unseen forces are competing to remain either in this past, deadlocked winter world or to turn over a new leaf bringing vibrancy and new life.

This season of my life looks so different than it ever has before. Looking back over the years I would describe my working life to look something like this; spent 8 vibrant years climbing corporate ladders, then with a growing family and babies I made the transition out of the workplace into the, dye-to-yourself, stay at home atmosphere, now 6 years later I reemerge in full force into the working world, alongside my husband. It’s easy to summarize those years but the process I went through was anything but. One thing I know for sure is that over the years I’ve found myself always longing for whats ahead rather than relishing in the moment God has placed me in today.

A few weeks ago my husband and I took a few days and retreated to the Twin Cities for some much needed business planning and regrouping. We spent a lot of time going over ideas, planning, and budgets but the thing I will take away from our trip was the Biblical lesson of the Israelites in the dessert. My husband had shared with me the message in Deuteronomy and how he had spent some time reflecting on it in the recent weeks.

The Israelites were God’s chosen people, set apart to do a good work for Him. Part of the process God had them go through was a season of waiting. For 40 years they wandered around the desert until one day they finally saw it, the promise land. The promise land was all they had talked about. It was what they looked ahead to with anticipation. The problem (well that’s the way they saw it) was that once they arrived, entering into the promise land didn’t quite look the way they had imagined. They soon realized that they were going to have to fight for it. It was going to be a lot harder than they had thought. Discouraged by the fight ahead of them the Israelites began grumbling. Their grumbling turned into a horrible negative attitude concerning their circumstances. Their negative attitudes ultimately resulted in a dissolved faith. Because of this, many never entered the land.

Hearing this story amidst this new season strikes a cord with me. It is clear the work that God has set apart for me to do however, He is leaving the choice of my attitude up to me. Will I be afraid of the battles He calls me into? Will I claim to discern a better, easier path? The lesson of the Israelites shows me that an attitude of belief has the power to make all the difference. The winds of change will come and come again. At times, I may need to face the cold north winds, fighting the forces that take my breath away and chill me to the bone. However, if I choose to believe that whatever season God carries me into with a willingness to fight for the things He has asked me to fight for then a promise of springtime green and new life surely awaits me on the other side.

Last week I went on a field trip to the Minnesota Historical Museum with my kids. One of the items on the day’s agenda was an interactive breakout session on Minnesota inventors and inventions. Our small group was assigned to study the work of Earl Bakken. Founder of MN based Medtronics company but more likely renowned for his 1954 invention of the Pacemaker.

The Pacemaker is a small electronic device designed to help an individuals heart beat in regular rhythm. Over the years, the Pacemaker has evolved from what was once a bulky, awkward piece of electronic equipment, typically worn on your belt loop, to an oh-so-small device that doctors can implant right into your chest. The work of a Pacemaker gives life, sustains life, and keeps your heart beating.

When I was born I had a heart deficiency. Not the physical type but rather the spiritual. My young heart beat just fine on it’s own. Independent, confidant, and self-reliant but with each passing year, I had this sinking realization that my failing heart was failing me. Often immobilized by trials and hardships (many self induced), I found that I really needed a jump start. A heart check. Eventually, over time I came to this understanding that my longing for a healthy heart was in part due to a series of very unhealthy choices. What I was in need of was a Pacemaker!

My Pacemaker is my Maker. The one who gives me a reason for living and keeps me upright though all the struggles and strife. Much like the early invention, when I first received my Pacemaker, it was big and awkward. Sorta hanging out there for the World to see that something was different about me. Now, with the progression of time my Pacemaker has been placed securely in my chest. Embedded into my heart, my Maker keeps pace with the beat of my heart. It’s a life that marches to a different drum. A life that pulsates in tandem with timeless beat keeper.